Wednesday, December 12, 2018
Return to Oz
As I have detailed the reasons for returning to the Mother Country before (see this post), I shan't go into all that again.
Let's just briefly look at what has happened in the three years since:
2016
Yep. I did blog a bit during this period, but I was unemployed for the majority of it.
To sum up: I struggled to find work; did a number of odd jobs here and there; moved in with dear friends in Bristol and worked as their Housekeeper for a few months; lots of celebs died; Brexit; Trump; watched a lot of TV.
2017
Moved to Sheffield; got a job with a tech company as their Receptionist-cum-Office Manager; found a nice little apartment; watched a lot of TV.
2018
Was held hostage at knife-point in my own apartment for two hours while my place was trashed and robbed; became depressed again; stacked on weight; went to court only to be gutted when the culprit got off with a 24-month suspended sentence; watched a lot of TV.
That's it in a nutshell. Obviously the robbery can be the subject of a blog post in itself - but I will wait until I am in a better frame of mind.
Throughout this triumvirate of annual adventures, it felt like I was a bear climbing up a mountain only to tumble down the other side. However, not one to give in (pish) I am going to climb the next mountain with gusto.
It is time for me to return to Melbourne, Australia.
The reason for doing this is so that I can renew my Permanent Residency before it runs out (in 2020) and also get my Australian Citizenship. I intend to get a dual passport so I can travel between the two countries freely. I feel that I have families in both. I am still waiting for one of my clever, scientific friends to hurry up and invent the matter transporter. I really don't know why they haven't pulled their finger out yet! So lazy!
Once there, I will be staying with friends until I get msyelf sorted. I am applying for a variety of jobs - publishing roles, office manager roles, kitten cuddler roles (I wish!) - and intend to get myself settled pretty damn quick.
The one thing I am not looking forward to is the heat. After stacking on the weight this year (see post-robbery-depression malarkey!) I will be sweating like a fat horse eating chillies on a treadmill in a sauna. I DO intend to lose weight again. I have done it before, so I know I can repeat my success (even at forty-bloody-three years old!).
Sorry... I simply can't resist an AbFab gif.
So... that's my situation and my goals kind of set. If anyone had any jobs for me out there in Australia, let me know An annual salary of eighty billion dollars would be peachy, thanks!
Right, time to sign off (for now) but, of course... I HAVE to end with an image from...
Tuesday, January 24, 2017
For the Love of Torchwood
As most people know, I am a Whovian. A Doctor Who fan for those unaware of the nerdy jargon. Yes, I am also a Trekkie, a Fannibal, an X Phile and a passionate fan of numerous other TV shows (what one calls a devotee of Randall and Hopkirk (deceased) is anyone’s guess!).
I am also a “Woody” (for want of a much better moniker) – that is to say, a fan of Torchwood, the Doctor Who spin-off aimed at slightly more mature viewer.
For the uninitiated, Torchwood sprang from the world of Doctor Who thanks to the wonderful, talented brain of Russell T Davies. Originally, the term was merely a pseudonym for production of the mother show in order to keep filming as secret as possible. The notion of an alien/crime fighting team had been at the back of RTD’s mind for years (with a working title of ‘Excalibur’) but once he got his creative claws into the Whoniverse, it was only a matter of time before the perfect blend came together.
The Torchwood seed was planted within the world of Doctor Who very subtly during episode twelve of series one (of 21st Century Who) in 2005 and was explored further more blatantly in the second series. We finally got to witness the fabled organisation in the stunning two-part finale Army of Ghosts/Doomsday.
Series one was also where we first met the charming and dynamic anti-hero Captain Jack Harkness and he proved so popular with fans, it was no wonder he would return for more adventures and his own spin off.
The first fully-fledged series of Torchwood appeared on October 22nd on BBC3 with a double bill of its first two episodes. Although Russell T Davies was the mastermind behind the show, Chris ‘Broadchurch’ Chibnall would serve as lead writer for the first two series.
I was hooked instantly. As I was already a fan of Doctor Who, it wasn’t that much of a surprise that I would warm to a spin-off (I was to fall in love with the children’s spin-off The Sarah Jane Adventures too!) but there was something extra special about Torchwood. Allegedly, RTD had pitched it as a cross between The X Files and This Life – two of my all-time favourite TV shows – so I was already eager to see this exciting hybrid.
OK, the show did have its detractors as most things do. One of the main complaints was that the stronger language and focus on sexuality was too aggressive, but I think if it was any other show, no one would bat an eye lid. I think it is just because people were used to the comfort of Doctor Who - I mean, look at Russell's Queer as Folk! Did anyone really think he was one to shy away from the truth about human nature? Ha!.
The cast was sublime. John Barrowman has so much onscreen charm that a number of straight blokes I know have admitted that they’d go gay for a night just for Captain Jack. Naoko Mori is a superb actress with a background in theatre and was also ‘Titicaca/Sarah’ in another favourite show of mine, Absolutely Fabulous. Burn Gorman is a man to watch whenever he is on screen. He is so naturalistic and can slip into any role with ease. Gareth David-Lloyd was a relative unknown outside of Wales but soon wooed his way into the hearts of fans world-wide. Kai Owen playing the simply lovable boyfriend/husband of Gwen...
Then there’s Eve Myles. Bloody Gwen Cooper. This woman can act the socks off anyone. RTD once described her as Wales’ best kept secret. Eve gives me goosebumps. She is simply a phenomenal actress. I am trying to be careful not to gush too much but it’s sufficient to say that, out of EVERYTHING I love about Torchwood, she is the zenith. Let that be enough, otherwise I will harp on for pages…
Series One
Series one was very much a mixed bag of stories. Some see this as a show trying to find its feet and maybe that’s true. I found that it proved how versatile the show can be. Not only were we dealing with aliens, but we had time-travel, fairies, vile human cannibals and even paedophilia. Each week I was in for a new feast and I was kept on my toes not knowing what the hell was going to happen next.
Without doubt, the highlight of the season was Catherine Treganna’s Out of Time in which three people from 1953 flew into Cardiff airport and had to adjust to 21st Century life. It was moving, heartbreaking and simply wonderful. Other highlights include P.J. Hammond’s disturbing story, Small Worlds, about fairies at the bottom of the garden (he has not lost his touch from the days of Sapphire and Steel!!) and Captain Jack Harkness (again, by Catherine Treganna) in which we meet the genuine article from whom our lead hero took his name.
Series Two
Once Torchwood settled into itself, it knew the kind of stories it wanted to tell – and series two delivered in spades. The show was beginning to attract attention and was moved to BBC2 in order to gain a larger audience. Freema Agyeman from Doctor Who joined the cast in a guest role as the brilliant Martha Jones, and we had a number of guest stars including the likes of James Marsters, Alan Dale, Julian Bleach and Ruth Jones.
This season felt more confident. There was real camaraderie in the cast and the episodes were bolder. We learned a lot more about Jack and, for the first time, his brother, Gray.
Amonsgt some of the best episodes were couple more from the superb Catherine Treganna – Meat and Adam – two fascinating episodes; one about the way humans treat animals for their own personal gain; one about the need to fit in. This show wasn’t ever going to be about evil aliens... this was a show which had a heart and would elicit empathy for others.
There was also a beautiful insight into the nature of human life and our existence in the episode A Day in the Death by Joseph Lidster. It was a rather atypical episode but one which gave us pause to reflect on what it is to be alive.
The finale, Exit Wounds was stunning. I was genuinely in floods of tears when we lost two of our lead characters. When Tosh uttered the line “Because you’re breaking my heart”, mine broke too. It’s such a shocking but deeply upsetting way for two characters to leave a series. It still makes me tear up…
Series Three
Now it was confirmed that Auntie Beeb had a hit on their hands, the show was moved to a prime time slot on BBC 1. However, the format was to change. No longer made up of thirteen episodes, series three was to be just one story told over five consecutive nights. I, for one, was shocked when I heard this announcement. I was disappointed that I wasn’t going to get a full banquet and only a mere snack.
Boy, was I wrong.
Children of Earth as it was eventually subtitled, was one of the most harrowing but brilliant pieces of television in years. Aliens return to Earth to complete a deal made decades earlier which involves giving up the human children for one of the most disturbing reasons possible.
The dilemmas posed in this five-night spectacular were astonishing and provoked much discussion amongst viewers. One scene in particular stands out for me and that’s where a cabinet of ministers in the British Government try to determine how to choose which children to give up. This is pure drama and actually made me feel physically sick as it made us an audience ask ‘What would WE do?’
We had exceptional performances from all, but most notably Cush Jumbo, Paul Copley ("Egg's Dad!"*), Susan Brown and the future Doctor himself, Peter Capaldi. I would love to see Cush Jumbo return as Lois Habiba one day… The series ended on a depressing note with too many lives close to Jack lost. It was chilling.
Series Four
Miracle Day (provisionally titled The New World) was always going to suffer from the ‘Tara King Syndrome’. Linda Thorson wasn’t Diana Rigg and Miracle Day wasn’t Children of Earth. It was the "difficult second album" (or fourth in this case). This does not make it any less worthy. Some tiresome fans online were extremely negative about this fourth run, mainly because of the American input (which, frankly, reeks of insular thinking and parochialism and is barmy in this day and age!)
Yes, we had part American funding and a lot of American cast, but this didn’t take away anything from the show in my opinion. It just made the show more global (as it should be!)
The premise was gold – no one dying and the cataclysmic aftermath of such a population growth – we saw how it affected various people in society; the families who lost people close; the greedy corporate world; the media’s spin; the life of those who were supposed to die… it raised so many existential issues and it took us to places we would never have thought to go.
New members of the cast fell seamlessly into the Torchwood world such as Alexa Havin’s beautiful performance as Esther Drummond from the CIA, Mekhi Phifer as the cynical Agent Rex Matheson, Lauren Ambrose as the conniving Jillian Kitzinger, Arlene Tur as the ill-fated Vera Juarez, and Bill Pullman as the repugnant Oswald Danes, a killer paedophile who survived the death penalty to go on to become a star. What an incredible performance he gave. I should also mention the new blood of writers including Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s very own Jane Espenson!
For me, one of the highlights of Miracle Day was episode seven: Immortal Sins in which we get to visit a period of Captain Jack’s past that has severe consequences in the show. It’s a beautifully orchestrated piece of television and stunningly shot. And, even though it’s a Jack-centric episode, we still get a knock-out performance from Eve Myles… again!!
The larger universe...
Whether it was the mixed reviews or the lack of funding, we were not fortunate enough to see more of Torchwood on TV (I live in hope…) but the Torchwood universe is larger with books, comics and audio plays continuing to entertain the fans. The BBC Radio did a series of plays which were received very well. The company behind the behemoth Doctor Who range of audio plays, Big Finish, got the rights to Torchwood and we are now treated to superb stories on a regular basis featuring a lot of the regular cast (including the adorable Tom Price as PC Andy and, brilliantly, Indira Varma as the troubled ex-Torchwood operative Suzie Costello).
At the time of writing, we have been subjected to two series of audio adventures (six episodes apiece) and three special releases: The Torchwood Archive, Torchwood: Outbreak, and Torchwood One: Before the Fall. The latter is the highlight of the three specials as we delve into the history of the London base with Yvonne Hartman, played to perfection by Tracy-Ann Oberman. The writers of the Big Finish audios (including series writer Joseph Lidster), the books and the comics are true fans of this much-loved show. They know their characters and they really “get” what Torchwood is. Even if we never get it back on our screens, I am more than happy to listen to their adventures or read about them as long as people keep writing them.
One last thing; while I have been typing this, I have been listing to the Torchwood soundtracks on my iPod. Ben Foster’s score is absolutely friggin’ wonderful. Murray Gold’s main theme is a classic and I wish they would release his score for Miracle Day one day as it has yet to be published (I am unsure as to why Ben Foster didn’t do the score, but Murray did a grand job!). Torchwood is one of those entities where all the ingredients worked for me. The writers, the cast, the directors, the stories, the production, the ethos… I am very passionate about it and, frankly, I’m a die-hard fan.
Long may the legacy last.
* I always shout "Egg's Dad!" whenever i see Paul Copley in anything. He played Andrew Lincoln ('Egg')'s father in the aforementioned This Life. He got to shag Anna Forbes. Good on Egg's dad!"
Monday, January 16, 2017
Thank You
2017 is going to be the year that I reboot my life.
After over a year of job-hunting, I have finally found a position that suits me like a 1940s gentleman's garment. I won't go into great detail right now, but it's sufficient to announce that it will allow me to use my writing skills daily and also utilise my affable charm on a regular basis. It's part reception work, part communications officer. A very satisfying blend for me.
This new role is based in Sheffield, so I will be leaving Bristol and dragging my hefty arse "Oop North" next weekend before settling into my new job and my new routine within the coming weeks.
I would like to take this opportunity to thank a great number of people. I will, no doubt, miss a few as there have been SO MANY that have helped me and to whom I am indebted beyond measure...
Firstly, to my family. They have been superb in their support over the last thirteen months - both emotionally and financially - and that is something to cherish. Mum, Mac, Sarah & Ian, Matt & Jo et al.
There are friends who have gone beyond the call of duty in their assistance: Jamie and Kevin housing me, feeding me, and supporting me during my brief foray into the Bristolian community; Dean for his unending generosity (in various forms) and his nonchalant yet occasionally acerbic words of encouragement; Rick and Teresa for seeing my potential and actually "getting me"; Dan for his strength and understanding, despite being ten and a half thousand miles away; Chris for being his usual empathetic self and giving me virtual ego-boosts as and when necessary; Louise, Adam, Rohan and Vanessa for just being the greatest gang of friends I have ever known (and I never EVER felt like a fifth wheel!); Jane for continuing to keep on the lookout for ideal positions for me; Alison for being Alison. No one knows me better than Ali...
Crikey... this is beginning to sound like an Oscar acceptance speech!
If I have forgotten someone, please forgive me. I am only on my second mug of tea for the day - give me a break!
All my friends, new and old, have been understanding, caring and, frankly, bloody fantastic. It is safe to say that in terms of friendship, I am one of the richest people in the world.
OK, enough of the puke-fest. Now I am back in the land of the living, I might even be more prolific on this blog and on social media. I need the impetus of routine and happiness to fuel my writing so be warned, I may be spamming your newsfeed more often this year. Ha!
Sunday, August 28, 2016
I Won't Give Up
Since returning from Australia late last year, I have been going through some incredibly stressful and painfully traumatic experiences akin to attempting the obstacle race on the Krypton Factor.
These crippling challenges are both as vile and unpleasant as each other but are somewhat of a necessity if one wants to achieve anything in life.
They are:
Long gone are the days where one spruced up one’s CV and delivered a succinct and coherent detail of one’s educational and vocational experience.
Long gone are the days of meeting people through social venues and getting to feel the vibes as you connect with another soul face to face.
Nah.
Everything now is online.
Each job I apply for has its own variation of a form to fill in and I have to repeat the same information over and over again. HOWEVER, there is never any room for possible discrepancies. e.g. I had a full time job whilst at University. One cannot explain this on the forms, as they don’t seem to think that such a thing would be possible. They also have mandatory fields for phone contacts of places that I worked that no longer exist. So, what happens? I leave things blank, the HR people look and think “Must be lying” and it gets binned (or deleted – wha’evs!) The most infuriating thing is after spending a good hour or so answering all their tiresomely pedantic questions about where one went to school, what grades one achieved, and to whom one sat in Geography class, they the ask you to upload a CV at the very end!!
When it comes to references, all of mine are in Australia and this makes it much harder to prove how bloody worthwhile I am. They probably just look at the ‘00613…’ and think “Fuck that!”
So, each and every laborious application for a job has left me frustrated and exhausted.
Pass me a bottle of red, luv!
As for dating…
I have tried a few of these phone apps. Oh, it’s appallingly depressing. A handful of pictures, a brief bio trying to sell oneself (for crying out loud, I was able to sell books about housewife bondage to Christian bookshops, yet I can’t sell myself for love nor money!) and all for nought as people simply swipe left because they catch sight of my lazy eye.
Even if one does make a rare connection, most just chat for hours and hours and then chicken out actually meeting because they suddenly realise they are married.
I have had a handful of dates:
- One admonished me for talking about sex
- One was so disinterested he left half way through
- And one was too interested and got a little rapey.
Crikey, lads… what is a boy supposed to do?
Pass me a bottle of bubbly, luv!
All the rejections from employers and suitors alike are becoming very wearing. I am feeling less and less of who I once was; a ghost of my former self.
Some day soon a company and a guy are going to find me fascinating, irresistible and charming. They will realise what they’ve been missing and all will be right with the world.
Wednesday, March 2, 2016
All I Want
When I win the lottery...
Monday, February 8, 2016
Let It Go
One of my favourite moments in the sublime, cult ‘90s sitcom Absolutely Fabulous is when Saffy explains to her mother that all one needs to do to lose weight is eat less and exercise more, to which Edina replies “Sweetie, if it was that easy, everyone would be doing it.”
Although this line always brings a huge grin to my face, I wonder if it really is that simple.
A few years ago, I had managed to lose nearly 20 kilograms through excessive walking and cautious consumption, but I was indeed younger. So, last year, it wasn’t quite so easy.
Just like many frequent dieters, my weight fluctuates more than Chandler Bing’s. Why do I keep falling off the wagon?
As my birthday falls on the 200th day of the year (and I was turning forty), I decided in 2015 to create a challenge for myself – ‘200 Days Until 40’ – I even attempted to blog about it to force myself to adhere to the rules. I would list everything I ate throughout the day and wrote down the various attempts at exercise that included everything from walking to swimming. I even posted a picture of an incentive – the kind of body I would like to have. Admittedly, I was 39 years old and quite frequently the type of Adonis featured were way beyond my capabilities due to not being 20 anymore. Occasionally, there would be physical specimens within my age group – from Ryan Kwanten to Daniel Craig. The problem with these role models is that they are rather wealthier than I and tend to have a little more free-time, but it was a start.
However, despite all the attention to the blog, things did not go according to plan and I only managed to lose about 10 kilos over the course of six and a half months. As soon as the project was over, whoomph!, I was back to stacking on the blubber.
So, we need to ask why?
Quite often, those around potential slimmers will say, kindly, “You look fine as you are!” or similar pleasantries. The problem is that we aren’t happy with the way we are and quite often it can be down to mental health issues such as low-self esteem, depression, self-loathing and more. Should we be attempting to tackle these issues before working on our bodies or would the healthy body lead to a healthy mind? It’s a conundrum and one that cannot easily be solved with a blanket rule – it is different for all of us.
I loathe my current shape. If I force myself to strip and look at myself in the mirror, I am physically repulsed and disgusted. I am not obese (unless we listen to the rather strict ‘BMI’, which I prefer to ignore!) and some quite like my more solid frame, but I feel terrible. Hefty, chunky and sausage-like. If I wrap around a white towel whilst reflecting on my form, I look like a pig in a blanket (sans mustard)
How do I combat this horrendous self-loathing when it's hard to actually kick oneself up the arse when one is feeling so low?
If anyone understands where I am coming from, I think we all need to learn to let it go - try to be a little happier in our skin. It certainly doesn't help when we are constantly bombarded with images of the ideal body (this, of course, applies to men and women) and there is a certain stigma attached to depression (especially with men!)
I want to get to the bottom of this and I want to find a fine balance between being comfortable and happy with my body but at the same time, become fit and healthy.
I turn 41 this July. I have been single for over twelve years. I need to start to appreciate myself and my body. The best day to start doing this is TODAY.