Sunday, November 1, 2015

My Needs

In December, I return home to the Mother Country after spending sixteen years and four months in Australia. Some people look at me incredulously when I tell them I am making the leap back and ask me why. Well, it's perfectly simple. I need to.

After a rather rocky twelve months (including the fire at my old building, moving home, losing Fizzgig, a painful break-up of a friendship and a pitiful slip into morose self-pity and depression - not all of which has been chronicled in this blog) I made a snap decision but the right one. I need to be within the bosom of my family. I need to be there for my niece and nephew (both under the age of two and I haven't met either of them yet). I need to start afresh in a new career. I need to be somewhere I can buy Yorkshire Gold tea at a reasonable price.

I will miss a lot of things about Australia; my friends the most, of course. But are there things I won't miss? Let's have a quick look...

  • The heat - I get far too sweaty and I burn quicker than a ginger in a solarium.
  • Melbourne's adoration of the awful avocado. You can't even buy a frickin' BLT without them turning it into a BLAT! SERIOUSLY! *shudder*
  • Having to listen to teenagers on public transport who ALL sound like Ja'mie King

However, I am aware that I am going to return to;

  • The cold - honestly, I don't mind the cold, but I am not a huge fan of the perky nipple.
  • Britain's obsession with reality TV and the constant inane drivel surrounding it.
  • I'll have to listen to teenagers on public transport who ALL sound like Vicky Pollard.

At some point in the near future, I will write a longer post about my last sixteen years. I bet you're all thrilled to hear that!