All I Want

When I win the lottery...

...there will be parties...

...there will be drinks...

...I will get fit...

...but I will maintain a decent support network...

...I will get a whole new wardrobe...

...I will learn to dance...

...I will become a better driver...

...I'd get my teeth fixed...

...I will buy the comfiest furniture...

...I will be more carefree...

...I will be charitable...

...and maybe become really altruistic or something...

...there will be lots of cats...

...I will have a full social life...

...I will hang out with my friends a lot more...

...but just my friends...

...I will be classy...

...I will have the BEST house...

...I'll be a terrific home-maker...

...I'll throw the best dinner parties...

...there will be shenanigans...

...I might even take up Pilates or Yoga...

...did I mention drink..?

...I will be a lot happier...

... and maybe there will be love(?)

...or maybe I should stop daydreaming.

My Needs

In December, I return home to the Mother Country after spending sixteen years and four months in Australia. Some people look at me incredulously when I tell them I am making the leap back and ask me why. Well, it's perfectly simple. I need to.

After a rather rocky twelve months (including the fire at my old building, moving home, losing Fizzgig, a painful break-up of a friendship and a pitiful slip into morose self-pity and depression - not all of which has been chronicled in this blog) I made a snap decision but the right one. I need to be within the bosom of my family. I need to be there for my niece and nephew (both under the age of two and I haven't met either of them yet). I need to start afresh in a new career. I need to be somewhere I can buy Yorkshire Gold tea at a reasonable price.

I will miss a lot of things about Australia; my friends the most, of course. But are there things I won't miss? Let's have a quick look...

• The heat - I get far too sweaty and I burn quicker than a ginger in a solarium.
• Melbourne's adoration of the awful avocado. You can't even buy a frickin' BLT without them turning it into a BLAT! SERIOUSLY! *shudder*
• Having to listen to teenagers on public transport who ALL sound like Ja'mie King

However, I am aware that I am going to return to;

• The cold - honestly, I don't mind the cold, but I am not a huge fan of the perky nipple.
• Britain's obsession with reality TV and the constant inane drivel surrounding it.
• I'll have to listen to teenagers on public transport who ALL sound like Vicky Pollard.

At some point in the near future, I will write a longer post about my last sixteen years. I bet you're all thrilled to hear that!