As it was early in the morning, my hackles rose quickly (so, that's what that is... oh... no. That's something else!) and I was stood in the shower getting all antsy and frustrated, and I began planning the blog you are about to read. Throughout the day I thought of additions to this post and I scribbled them down. However, now that I am home and the day has passed (and I am snacking on Red Rock Deli's 'Jalapeno and Mature Cheddar Corn Chips'), I have calmed down and realise that a rant is not going to solve anything and, truth be told, I will just come across a tad self-righteous and annoying (more so than usual!)
I am also cognizant of the nature of learning disabilities or dyslexia etc. I am not evil or stupid. My problem lies elsewhere.
Here is the post in all its angry glory, for what it's worth.
I hate the phrase Grammar Nazi. It implies that those of us who do not want the English language to be abused and eroded are simply fascists who despise the notion of change. I disagree wholeheartedly. I welcome change (I can hear some of you laughing with derision) but I think some things should be taught and expressed correctly. Seeing misplaced apostrophes or bad spelling is like someone writing 2 + 2 = 79. It's just WRONG!
People say "Oh, but at least you know what they mean..." but I say "NO!" - If I have to spend longer than necessary (even if it's a split-second longer) deciphering some text, then they are writing it incorrectly!
In texts and friendly emails I understand that there is a lackadaisical approach to sentence structure and spelling. The familiarity between the participants allows for a great deal of leeway. I have often sent off a quick email during work hours to a pal but failed to proof-read it but the recipient rarely admonishes me for it. (Admittedly, I do want to beat myself around the head with a stocking full of Lego bricks when I spot my error!)
My main concern is for those whose job it is to create official documents or permanent signage and they don’t even think to check the work before signing off on it.
I have regaled stories frequently about the Direct Factory Outlet with massive banners erected during their exterior refurbishments announcing ‘WERE STILL OPEN’ (so they aren't any more?) and the all-time classic signs in the old chip shop in Matlock Bath:
One of the things that annoys me the most is misuse of apostrophes in plurals.
Some seem to think if a noun ends in a vowel, the plural must feature an apostrophe. I have no idea where this logic comes from.
It’s not always words that end in vowels. The music store JB Hi-Fi in Elizabeth Street, Melbourne had a very large sign out the front for many years advertising its vast collection of ‘Compact Disc’s’.
Yesterday, I received a letter that mentioned taking ‘Survey’s’. Part of me wants to dismiss the rest of the contents and throw it in the bin! (This would be, of course, a very silly thing to do.)
I'm not saying I'm perfect! Heaven knows I am deeply flawed and make all kinds of mistakes. I am not a genius, I am socially awkward, have a terrible sense of fashion, and sometimes lick my dinner plate when no one is looking. This is just an area I can "attempt" to excel in or at least improve my understanding of it all.
There are lots of lessons in grammar that I need to learn too! I am still a little bemused about a lot of it.
I am not asking people to learn to play the oboe with their toes or splice atoms with a pair of curling-tongs; it's just really not that difficult!
One of the mistakes I used to make is in regards to the words Stationery and Stationary.
I always remember this one by a little imagery. Picture the capital letters A and E. The A is stood firmly on the ground, feet apart, so obviously not going anywhere. The E looks like some shelves like the sort one might find in WHSmiths with assorted stationery awaiting their purchase or theft.
I won't go into the whole Your versus You're and all those similar errors, for we see plenty of rants about those on a regular basis (not that people seem to pay any attention!), but I will post this screencap from IMDb as it just makes me chuckle:
I trust that a number of my vastly more educated friends will be able to sweep through my posts and find numerous grammatical errors and I will actually enjoy learning where I have gone wrong and how not to make those sorts of mistakes again. Life is one long learning curve.
Oh, as an aside, any evangelical Christian who calls it ‘The Book of Revelations’ is obviously more ignorant than a lobotomised goldfish. If they loved the old book so much, they’d know it was ‘Revelation’.
As I wrote this post, I was extra cautious about avoiding errors. When it came to "bears a resemblance", I had to stop and check if it was 'bears' or 'bares'... But that’s the thing, you see... If I am unsure, I look it up!
So, that's my rant. I hope I didn't come across too aggressive. If so, I apologise. I just need to vent sometimes.
When you spend enough time on the Internet you sort of learn to tune out the murder of the English language. One thing I'm very lenient towards is made-up words, since language is a constantly evolving thing. Besides, Shakespeare would make words up all the time, that ponce.
ReplyDeleteI used to get a bit grumpy about made-up words. I don't much any more. (Apart from 'Unputdownable' - I HATE that!) However, I am getting very tired of these mash-up names for celebrity couples. THAT is genuinely tedious.
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