Monday, September 1, 2014

A Hymn to Him

A couple of days ago, my step-father was involved in a nasty accident. I won’t go into details, but suffice to say, he ended up in ICU with numerous broken bones and other internal injuries.

When I learned the news from my mother, I became rather stressed. It’s always difficult being so far away from one’s family during times like these. I felt rather helpless. However, it did encourage me to reminisce about my relationship with a man who is pretty damn flawless.

When my mum and Mac (as he is known to all and sundry – even his own mother – despite being Christened ‘David’) first got together, I was a bit perturbed as I had a slight fear of bearded men. To be honest, I was also scared of curly-haired men, but I blame Tom Baker for that. However, his amiable personality and jovial attitude soon put me at ease.

We didn’t really have a great deal in common, but he certainly tried his best to ingratiate himself with this rather bizarre little boy but he did so without being too intrusive. He took us (Mum, my brother and me) out on day trips at the weekend. I can’t say that I was particularly thrilled about being made to attend truck racing at Donnington race course, but whilst the others enjoyed the roar of vehicular menace, I perched on the embankment ploughing through The ABC Murders or similar.

Yawn

We did go on a number of holidays together; be it weekends to Blackpool or caravanning in Sutton-on-Sea. There was always a wonderful pleasure of visiting these breezy seaside towns and getting curry and chips for an evening meal before sitting around a warm electric fire playing UNO or Whist. In fact, Mac taught us boys to play a number of card games. I wish I could remember them all now. Rummy was my favourite. It’ll probably come back to me if I bothered to sit down and play again. (Pontoon was odd; I don’t think I ever got the hang of that!)

One of the things Mac and I bonded over was the classic 1960s TV show The Avengers. I loved the surreal stories and the debonair charm of John Steed, Mac fancied Emma Peel. 6 o’clock, Wednesday nights, BBC2. A fond memory. (Admittedly, even as a gay man, I cannot deny the allure of Diana Rigg in one of the sexiest roles ever.)

Miss Emma Peel

Although our tastes in some things differed greatly, we both enjoy two specific authors’ books. The gripping equestrian shenanigans of Dick Francis’ novels and the insane farfetched fiction from the mind of the barking mad Robert Rankin. Often we would compare notes after reading the latest tome. I think this proved that we had similar senses of humour too.

One thing he might deny, but I cannot ignore, is his big soft heart. He may have the persona of a strong, gritty bloke, but if there is a sad story on Animal Hospital (or equivalent TV show), he’ll shuffle uncomfortably and shed a tear for the poor creature in distress. Bless!

Mac has always been fiercely protective over my brother and I as if we were sons of his own. One incident in particular was told to me by my mother. Mac was driving past my school at a moment coinciding with break time. As (in those early days of secondary school) it took me a while to make friends, I often became a bit lonely (my best friend William was a year below me, so I didn’t get his company until the year after!) Mac saw me sat on the concrete steps by the playground all alone. Apparently, he wanted to pull over, race into the playground and shout at the other children “Play with him you little shits!” (or words to that effect). That’s the kind of guy he is. Thankfully, he is also the kind of man who would never actually do that.

Years later, when I was 18 and suffering from a bit of a nervous breakdown at Bedford University (long story), he didn’t hesitate to drive all the way from Derbyshire to pick me up and drive me back with ALL of my stuff crammed into every inch of the car. I was not in the best of spirits, but he kept me entertained on the long journey back. He’s a star like that.

One year, he treated us all to a big holiday. We went to Greece for a fortnight. The hours of fun we had playing in the sea or taking trips around local villages… nothing was too much trouble. He’d pay for everything, take everything in his stride, and he went out of his way to make sure we had the best holiday.

Definitely NOT Sutton-on-Sea

A particular favourite memory for me was when I had a premonition in a dream. I woke up just knowing I simply had to see the film Little Shop of Horrors at the cinema without knowing much about it at all. Our local cinema only kept movies on for a week and time was running out. I nagged my mum to take me but she had rehearsals for something (I think). Mac said he’d do the honours and took me to see a musical that would become one of my favourite films of all-time. Musicals aren’t really his thing, but even he enjoyed himself. (Admittedly, LSOH is not your average musical!!) – Apparently it pays to nag.

One of my all-time favourite films!

Mac is one of the most generous people I know. Always willing to give his time and energy to others and is always there to help out in a crisis. This is why it is so touching to hear of the love and caring messages from those who know him at this time when things have gone slightly up shit creek (a phrase he’s more than happy to use himself!) People love Mac and for a good reason.

He was never a father-replacement. Not at all. He would never even attempt to take on that role as he has always had respect for my father. My Dad was ever present and has been critically instrumental in moulding me, introduced me to a plethora of loves (from film to music and more), and has been deeply influential in more ways than he’d probably know! However, Mac has been an integral part of my growing-up and this post is dedicated to him.

Of course, the list of memories could go on, but the brief tales above are some specific highlights from the vast collection of recollections in my slightly decaying brain.

All I can say now is ‘Get Well Soon’ and I hope it won’t be too long before we can catch up again – over a Glenfiddich or a strong pot of Yorkshire Tea. Cheers, Mac!

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