Sunday, June 13, 2010

Don't Come the Cowboy With Me, Sonny Jim!

Like the Ouroboros, I find myself repeating certain ventures in my life. Some may describe me as a glutton for punishment, others may simply call me a fool.
Once more, I have delved into the sinful world of internet dating. Actually, I should not be so pessimistic; I know a number of happy couples who have met online and have marvellous, long-standing relationships.

I have paraded my profile on an internet dating site. The first site I joined was a huge disappointment to me. I should not have paid before browsing. I was gutted to discover that 96% of profile pictures on the website were of genitalia. I soon learned that the website seemed to be dedicated only in the pursuit of meaningless sexual gratification. I don't want to come across as a prude as I am well aware that for a lot of people, this is needed and adored. For me, however, I would like something a little more cerebral and durable.
I braced myself and deleted my account just moments later - forfeiting the dollars I had paid to join.

The second site was a little better - only 45% posted pictures of their exposed members - and although there was some evidence of testosterone-driven urges needing to be fulfilled, there was also a satisfying collection of people who seemed keen to find their perfect mate. So, another hunk of cash deposited for this slightly more redeeming site and I began selling myself to the most attentive bidder.

I waited.

And waited.

For crying out loud, I am a sales-person by trade! Am I not able to make my own personal form alluring to the masses? I have used the top-quality photographs taken recently by my good friend, Eric and I have been eloquent in my wording when trying to describe who I am and what I desire in a partner. So surely there is someone out there who appreciates my efforts.
Admittedly, it is early days, so I shan't chastise myself too greatly.

This is not, as I implied earlier, my first attempt at internet dating.
The last couple of times led me to the brink of depression as I was continually abused and rejected by cold-hearted monsters with one thing on their minds.
However, with this in mind, I am going in armed with hind-sight and more confidence than I have had for many years. I shall not shirk my inherent chivalrous and diplomatic nature by cloaking myself in a guise of carefree arrogance; I intend to remain my good-natured self. That said, I will attempt to raise my guard and fend off any offensive shuns with a nonchalant brush-off and continue on my eager jaunt.

I am not online to find a quick shag and another notch to my belt. My heart is tender and open, waiting for someone kind, considerate and warm.
So, to all those cowboys out there wanting their quick fix, keen to get their rocks off, you'll just have to go knocking else where.

Soldier on, Bennyboy!

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